I don’t spend a lot of time in “if onlys” or “what ifs”. Life unfolds the way it should, based on a million different decisions, actions and behaviors. This has been a roller-coaster decade for me personally, full of SO many incredibly wonderful experiences. And some pretty shitty ones. I’m not alone…everyone has their share of suck. I’ve watched family and friends battle disease (some overcoming it and some not) and tragic accidents that have upended families, impacting them with the worst outcomes. It’s cliche but what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger…and hopefully more positive. There have been thousands of books written on positivity, moving cheese?! (haha…change) and living life in the present. Here’s just one more blog if you didn’t get enough!
My sis and I have been focusing a lot on change and how to intentionally craft the life you want. We began communicating about it almost daily, over a year ago when she was diagnosed with cancer for the second time. Literally the very next day she set about making change and DOING. Doing the things that made her happy and fulfilled. She also was extremely helpful and generous with her time…most notably to my mom who was going through, as it turned out, a life-threatening condition resulting in major surgery and a lengthy recovery. The tenacity with which my sister has stuck to her “new life” is quite inspiring. I treasure our daily emails and texts, supporting each other and looking forward to many many exciting changes.
Additionally, we’ve been talking about “mindfulness”. There are a lot of different practitioners that use buzz phrases..Power of Now, Radical Acceptance, How to not give a F&$k (a more “hip” and sexier branding)…it’s all essentially the same thing we’ve been studying for years. The concept is extraordinarily simple, yet very very difficult to do. It’s this…put down your damn devices, stop multi-tasking, get out of your head and BE with wherever you are. Use your senses (touch, taste, smell, sound, and sight) to perceive the moment. Talk WITH the person you’re communicating with (not thinking about a million other things while doing it). And for God sake…and this is a big one…stop worrying. Have you ever considered what worrying does for you? Not a damn thing. Not ONE DAMN THING. Except stress you out, make you anxious, mess with your sleep, and annoy the crap out of your friends and family talking endlessly about negativity and fear.
Let’s be clear…that doesn’t mean hard things don’t happen. It’s just how we move through the events. Everyone deals with trauma differently–some let it define them, place blame or act harshly to the world around them (no finger pointing or judgement). Others, move through, feeling the “feels” but doing okay, and yet others acknowledge, accept and perhaps even internalize the event as a learning opportunity for personal growth and compassion. But one thing is a truth…worrying won’t change or affect anything.
As the glittery lights and holiday parties wind down this year, and we’re left with the gray winter (and apparently no snow here in central Oregon anyway…oiy!) maybe consider picking up one of these books about mindfulness–or listening to a podcast if that’s your jam. You have nothing to lose! …except maybe a whole lot of worrying!
Thanks for listening! See ya out there on the frisky ripples….
Frisky Ripples 