Years ago when I started this blog my intention was to explain my journey from being a kid raised by two parents from inner city Chicago to living in Bend, pursuing the Bendlandia experience of constant outdoor recreation. That meant that instead of growing up on mountain bikes and in kayaks I hung out at the mall and “cruised the gut” as a teen (Bend kids are SO fortunate!!) Ironically, the real change started after I got into a whole bunch of trouble as a 15-year old, rebelling against my parents, pushing my independence and having “too much fun”. Finally, my actions caught up with me and I was “grounded for life” which ended up being just a month, and the exception was that I could do anything with the family. At the time my dad hadn’t been super present, either traveling or working a ton and subsequently hunkering down after work for some much-needed quiet-time. I have to credit my dad…maybe he realized the gap in our relationship but he showed up then, and the most impactful activity we did together was a private raft trip on the McKenzie river–just the guide, my dad, a family friend and me.
It was a full day trip and it was in the forest on the river. Duh. I explain this because that was kind of foreign to me. It’s not like I’d never been to the forest or seen a river, but this was “out there” and the river was so beautiful, the rapids were really fun and then we got to swim in the river!! The experience of being on/in the river WAS entirely new to me. I had so much fun and I just wanted to do it again.
You might think I fell in love with paddling right there and then, and chose to pursue a life as a guide. Nope. Not even a little. In fact it wasn’t for another 6 years that I’d make my way onto a raft again. But the experience and feeling of joy stayed with me, and when I made the decision to leave Salem a few years later it was Bend and living that lifestyle that I was chasing (finding and working a job at the Inn of the Seventh Mountain, which offered raft trips). From there, the rest is history.
I’ve spent the last 6 months spreading my dad’s ashes at various important places and yesterday it came full circle. I wanted to honor him on Father’s Day at a place so poignant to both he and I. I paddled the McKenzie river and was able to leave a “bit of dad” there. At the takeout, I released his ashes while two butterflies flew around as if to accompany him on the next step of his journey. These butterflies (the yellow and black ones that I lovingly call “yellow-tail swallow tiger somethings”) have special meaning to me and it was an emotional moment–in a very happy way. Be free dad…swim in the river and fly with the butterflies!
Maybe it’s a little over-done to write a post looking back at the year around New Year’s, but 2024 has been a big year for me with profound change and transitions. The first full year, of rebalancing my personal and professional life. A full year answering only to myself, and a year when I took my “side hustles“ (as I like to endearingly call them) more seriously. It was a year that helped me reveal the imbalances I had been living, and with restructuring, let me see what living IN balance looks like…Balance in work, health (SLEEP!!), and personal time. OK, there was a lot of travel last year too, but I had some destinations I’d put off going to for many years and had the chance, so I ran with it.
It began with a trip to La Ventana, Baja, Mexico, where I stayed for most of the trip solo. I met some awesome people, experienced incredible beauty in the ocean and surrounding mountains, and simply took stock of my life. It gave me the space to ask myself “what do I do with more time and resources”? I am a human that loves to travel and play, but crucially important that I’m also productive, and for me that requires (some) structure…hmmmm.
Within the first few days of arriving in Mexico I made a friend–a woman from Fernie whose husband and she live part time in La Ventana down the road from “Casa de Jeffe”, and after chatting on the beach for 15 minutes, swooped me into her group of Canadian friends. Sarah is a rare and wonderful blend of wildly compassionate and no-bullshit kind of person. She puts you at ease and doesn’t mess with small talk–my kind of friend!
The trip was nothing short of transformational, and it set the stage for the additional excursions I took in 2024. It also helped me envision how I want to spend my “not travel and adventuring” time. (I’m highly aware that is a very First World, privileged Bend-bubble statement to make).
After La Ventana, I went to Washington DC where I met up with my scientist friend Kirk, who had invited me out to tour the private collections of the Smithsonian–really an incredible opportunity. I’d gotten into the study of Deep Time and paleontology, so this was somewhat of a dream trip. I absolutely adore DC–a city I’d been to a few times but only really seen the suburbs. Now, having had the red-carpet tour I’m a big big fan. What was my key learning take-away from this trip? If you put your mind to something, you can make it happen. Looking forward to 2025 I want to get back into my sciencey-nerdy activities again, which I’ve somewhat put on the back-burner this last year. I mean I have the lingo and everything with terms like “sciencey-nerdy”…Ha! (Full disclosure, Kirk agrees I’m really bad at identifying fossils). Ah well. Another learning moment!! You don’t actually have to be good at something to enjoy it.
After Washington DC I ventured out on a road trip with my sis, to the Oregon Coast for her birthday and not too long after flew to Missoula. Both of these experiences reminded me the awesomeness of family/chosen family. It’s incredibly grounding to be with people who have been through the good, bad and ugly with you, and still choose to include you in their forever-life. Friends and relationships come and go–“family” for me is defined as those people who decide to be in your life regardless of blood, even when it’s “hard” or uncomfortable. I got to hang out with two of those people in Missoula! Yay!!
After Missoula was a trip to Northern California, where I paddled the South Fork of the American with River SUP Guy, Davide Sartoni. My intention was to paddle a river that made me slightly uncomfortable with someone I know has a higher level of paddleboard skills than me. For the majority of my years doing whitewater SUP, I’d paddled with someone who I felt extremely comfortable…maybe even too comfortable, and became lazy reading and running rivers myself–kind of like “mental training wheels”. Davide and I had a heck of a good time and while the river stretch itself wasn’t intimidating, it was fun seeing a new river and paddling with a rad guy. I’d also turned the trip to Cali into an adventure with my sister, doing lots of hiking and sightseeing along the way (and eating great food…always a plus when traveling).
I stayed put in Bend all of August, largely to paddle some local rivers, and then September took me to Lake Tahoe to co-teach a SUP ACA certification, and then to Stevenson, Washington for my cousin’s wedding, and finally a trip to Vermont in October for (co-worker & friends) Topher and Michelle’s wedding. A crew of us from Bend made the journey and it was FUN. Site-seeing, parties, ceremonies, more parties. Not a lot there to unpack…just a whole bunch of love and joy all the way around.
Which brings me to now.
For me, when I reflect on where I’m “at” and the pursuit of self-development, I believe the real growth doesn’t happen in the adventures, but rather in the mundane. A wise man and spiritual mentor of mine once told me that it’s easy to meditate on a mountain top. In other words, when conditions are perfect, it’s a lot easier for things to feel hunky-dory. Meditation with interruption, noise, overstimulation and adversity is the challenge! This is probably the same with life. Having “epics”, traveling and doing all the fun things is… well, really fun! So fun, in fact that we can confuse the immediate emotion for overall happiness or joy. Don’t get me wrong, I love the hell out of my travels and excursions with friends. Paddling. Biking. Theater. Dinners out. But what happens when you sit home alone? What happens when you’re not traveling? Maybe you get sick, have an injury, run out of money, run out of time…. or just simply sit still for a minute to figure out who you are and what you want to make of your life.
After returning from Vermont, I made the decision to stay home. To dig in deeper. Dig in to my community which I’d felt somewhat disassociated from, having spent so much time outside of Bend for the previous 8 years. Dig in deeper to my professional life–my team with Tumalo Creek and my clients with Happy Well and private instruction. I gotta say, I’m loving it. So much so that I’m rolling with staying put (mostly) until I head out in the spring.
Looking forward…what’s ahead? I’m really excited to begin offering “Happy Well” workshops in a group setting. My sister will be joining me on some of these events– without her the HW accountability approach wouldn’t have coalesced and her journey is both admirable and inspiring. I’m really proud of what we’ll be offering and I’m excited to share it.
The winter will be over in about 3 seconds, so I’m also looking beyond to the summer and a fuller paddling schedule. So much joy getting on the water and supporting people who are new to the sport of whitewater sup! And there will be more work with my mentor to complete my process of becoming an ACA IT.
As I reflect back, plan forward and most importantly sit in the present, the biggest emotion I’m feeling is gratitude. For what has been (2024 and prior) and what might come (nothing is guaranteed and every day is a gift). SO much gratitude for my community–my family and my chosen family. My co-workers (who are family). My “things”–it isn’t lost on me how many people do without the necessities let alone the prevalence I live with. My experiences!! How rich do I feel having been able to do the various things I’ve been lucky enough to see, touch, taste and do in my life!!! Lucky lucky lucky and soooo thankful.
Sorry for the “gush”. Thanks for listening….see ya out there on the frisky ripples!!
This summer was pretty dang cool and as usual, when I’ve got the most to write about I’m too busy so I’ll hit some highlights…
A visit to “Zoo-town”!! It had been waaaay too long since I’d visited Missoula and some of the most important people in my world, having lived there for almost a decade. It was with a ridiculous amount of luggage that I flew into the now remodeled airport to get entirely laughed at by my BFF Deirdre. She wasn’t wrong…it was pretty silly how much I brought, considering the relatively short duration of my visit, however I had to bring my Atcha SUP so I could paddle the Blackfoot. And my bike stuff. And “go out to eat/drinks” clothes. And hiking clothes. And hanging out comfy clothes. Honestly, I ended up doing (and needing clothes/gear) for ALL of those things. We packed a lot into a relatively short time. It was great to see old stomping grounds and catch up with friends.
During this visit I said so many times “I don’t remember Montana being so beautiful”! It truly is, and I’ll be visiting more in the coming years. This visit, I stayed with Deirdre which worked great considering her location in the University district. Per the usual, Deirdre’s schedule was pretty full, but she was able to set aside blocks of time for us . When she had appointments, I was able to venture out to meet with other old friends. About the time when Deirdre got really really busy, Andre had finished up with his trial, and was able to dedicate some paddling, biking and hang out time (Andre is my ex of 8+ years and longtime friend ever since). We paddled the Blackfoot where I was able to finally confront Thibedeaux “falls” (it’s not really a falls but a class III rapid which had been my nemesis way back in the day when I was largely clueless to rivers and was beginning to learn whitewater kayaking…which did NOT go well. This time, I cleaned Thibedeaux on my SUP, and Andre and I shared a big “yeeehaw”, knowing what it meant to me. After the paddle, we met Deirdre for dinner and the two of them proceeded to tease me to death (like old times) which I absolutely adored. It felt like “home” regardless of how we’ve all changed and grown (I specifically leave out the word “mature” here). Ha! Andre has a lovely partner and daughter, and a thriving practice he opened. Deirdre is in high demand professionally and personally and owns a lovely three-story house, truck and camper–quite a leap from when she and I rented a few blocks from each other in humble dwellings (hers small enough so you couldn’t actually close the bathroom door all the way). The three of us have all suffered traumas, and also had huge wins, and the mutual love remains to this day. I can’t tell you how awesome that feels. Like coming home to a place where people who are chosen family accept and support me unconditionally.
The whole trip was surreal, to be in a place I’d lived, to the point of monotony, but to revisit with so much “new” to experience. Missoula is gorgeous with much vibrance and opportunity. Really enjoyed my time.
California Dreamin…. About two weeks after my trip to Missoula, I left for the South Fork of the American river to paddle with Davide Sartoni (River SUP Guy). I’d asked my sis to join me, and we planned to drive the 9-ish hours over three days. That was a leisurely and fantastic approach, exploring whatever caught our interest, spending the first night in Ashland. Our cute little Airbnb was perfectly located, just blocks from the historic downtown. We tootled around, had a nice dinner next to the creek and walked up through Lithia Park. The next morning, post balcony yoga session and an extra cup of coffee we continued south, with the majority of our day spent in Dunsmuir. Here we did two hikes. The first up Castle Crag where we viewed three separate formations of entirely different geologic eras, the most recent, Mount Shasta. It was an amazing view, and a fun (hot) hike so we were ready for our second riverside hike, where I introduced my sister to the “cold plunge”. Skeptical at first, she embraced the idea, and I think I might have another convert!! The plunge definitely helped cool and re-energize the both of us and were very ready for an earned cheeseburger and beer at Dunsmuir Brewery. Thoroughly exhausted and well-fed, we drove the 90 minutes to Red Bluff which dropped us out of the beautiful Shasta-Trinity National forest into the dry, rolling-hills landscape speckled with oak trees–very California-esque.
The next day was the final drive to our destination of Placerville, just outside of Coloma where I’d be meeting up with Davide. On the way we had a very spontaneous and delightful stop in old-town Sacramento. It’s over-the-top touristy but in the best way. Enjoyed drinks at Finnegans Irish bar making friends with the bartender who gave us some local beta, shot a round at the skeet shooting booth and got a sugar high simply walking into the huge Old-Fashioned Candy shop. But onward!!
I’m SO glad we chose Placerville which we both adored. This cute little town, the location where gold was first discovered in the California Gold Rush, has a historic district with boutiques, random shops, the oldest hardware store in the US and awesome restaurants. I won’t gush with details about our time there, but there is plenty to rave about. I was also really ready and excited to get on the river!!
The first day on the South Fork of the American was just Davide and me. Such a great day! Fun river, friendly rapids and an opportunity to paddle something new. The second day I ran sweep for his whitewater SUP class. I always learn a ton when seeing others instruct, and I’m really impressed with Davide. He’s an awesome paddler, teacher and all-round great guy. I’ll be hitting him up to do some other trips in the future for sure. Soca 2025? A gooooood possibility. He also leads SUP trips on the Pacuare in Costa Rica, Tara river in Montenegro and the Rogue.
I chose to stay local in August because I knew I’d be leaving for much of September and October. I wanted to paddle the McKenzie and Santiam rivers which I truly love. I had a chance to paddle with old friends, and also make new ones, hitting both locations multiple times over the last couple months. Regardless of who I’m paddling with, I never seem to tire of these two beautiful stretches. Now the fall is winding down and the snow is starting to fly which means I’ll paddle way less and focus on winter play, but I’ll still sneak a paddle in when I can.
SUP on Tahoe… Ok, it’s not a river, but I had such a great time with this crew of people it book-ended my water travel for the summer well. My mentor Steve Scherrer and I flew out to Tahoe, via Reno to certify a group of employees and volunteers with Achieve Tahoe (an organization similar to Oregon’s OAS). Achieve works with adaptive folks all seasons of the year but has a strong presence on the lake…kinda for obvious reasons. Tahoe is beautiful and accessible, and it had been decades since I’d been there so I was excited to see the lake and meet these incredible people. They didn’t disappoint.
Because this was an ACA certification course, we were homestay’ed at one of the volunteer’s homes just 4 minutes from Alpine Meadows–gorgeous. The couple that hosted us were super people (and both gourmet cooks/bakers which didn’t suck either…home-baked sourdough bread and macaroons as two glaring examples!!!). They really went above and beyond to make our visit awesome. We were out of the house every morning by 7:30am to be at our meeting spot by 8am with at least a couple of the Achieve team already setting up. Because their group had worked together for years they had an existing dynamic, based in compassion, support and strong communication skills. They’re all teachers themselves so they “got it”. I’ve never worked in a cert course, with a group of people like them. Really fun–energetic and engaged. Tuning up their SUP skills was simple too as they were athletes. I look forward to going back this spring when they do their next cert.
So that wraps up a few of the summer highlights. What jumps out when writing this post is the profound impact people have on our experiences. From all different walks of life, views, and backgrounds. I had a lot of really fun adventures…admittedly an incredible summer. I’m so fortunate! Yet it’s the people that stand out when I think back. In this time of what I can only think of as “separation” I hope that people can put aside the negativity and look toward what is similar in us, and not what our differences are.
Thanks for listening…see ya out there on the frisky ripples!!
In case you missed this in the blog description, I write mostly about finding stoke doing those things that excite and inspire, at a level that challenges YOU! Not your Olympian friend or pro-athlete down the street (a common occurrence if you live in Bend). I love rivers, mountains and wilderness in general. Nature calls to me, and if I’m not out in it for even a few minutes daily, things start to go a little wonky in my head. I might not be paddling Class V rapids or heli-skiing but any time we venture out, there is a chance for things to go sideways. I’ve had my share of crashes and splashes resulting in injuries and wounds to varying degrees. This is why I found myself recertifying my Wilderness First Aid and CPR over the last few weeks, for the jillionth time. That, and I guide/coach people weekly who I might need to help should something go wrong (and it’s been my experience it’s a “when” rather than “if” situation).
First Aid/CPR certification courses are great to bring top-of-mind awareness and it’s easily forgotten after a few months, let alone years. They can be booooooring in your typical classroom with “textbook” lectures and splint-setting. What I did last month was distinctly different, working with a guy who had trained our team a couple times over the last decade. It was his approach that I remembered when considering who to train our TC staff and myself this year. Serious, funny, wicked-smart and practical.
Because I needed to expedite my recertification for other certifications not to lapse, I chose the unique opportunity to work one-on-one with this guy–an expert in his field. Not someone trained to train (although he is), but someone who is in the field himself witnessing and leading all sorts of rescue and trauma-relief situations. Someone who cuts through the bullshit and does what is most effective in real-life events, like addressing a massive hemorrhage before airway, as taught in our ABC’s because the major blood-loss would result in no oxygen anyway. Yikes-major stuff! Sidenote, if the term ABC’s is completely foreign to you, consider a first aid course. You never know when walking down the street you’ll confront an emergency. I have been the first responder to more than a couple “randoms” in my life and it was nice to feel at least, partly capable!
Back in “the warehouse” (the base camp for his team that ends up deploying all over the world, and headquarters for instruction) I had the opportunity to relearn first aid skills in a unique way. Most poignant, a femoral wound that I needed to pack with veeeeeery realistic fake, warm, viscous “blood” spurting…yes, spurting. Holy cats! Not the online learning we get through various other programs. I feel fortunate to have had this experience and will be going back to work on more realistic scenarios.
Not all that goes wrong in life is so “bloody” or dramatic. In prior posts I’ve talked about life changes and schedule changes and reservation misses. Most recently a friend ventured on a solo trip. Logistics were considered, hotel booked, and Uber app updated. Except the Uber app didn’t work. I’ve had this happen to me too, whether a bad connection or…who knows? She chose to walk herself and her luggage about 1.5 miles (uphill through a questionable neighborhood) to her hotel. She arrived tired and exhausted… but got there. Something to complain about? Perhaps, but instead she gained confidence and felt empowered by proving to herself she could do it. In fact, all of the small “mistakes” along the way were met with logic and considered an opportunity to remember her capabilities. I’d dare say the challenges that were overcome made her trip!
For myself, this last year I’ve rediscovered singlehood and been reminded how resilient we are as autonomous beings. I’ve found after a life of being with a partner and then without, that my brain “switches”, knowing I’ve got just myself to depend on. From travel to personal emergencies to household tasks, I know I have myself and I can typically handle it–and I take full responsibility. Most times, I rise to the occasion quite well (and if I “miss” there’s no one there to point it out! Ha!)
Things can certainly go wrong. Always, my heart goes out to those people experiencing natural disasters/warfare that cause utter destruction and loss. For our more mundane challenges I suggest looking at the opportunities you might find in the experience–the silver linings. As I’ve said before, we’re all between swims. Crawl back on your board, or into your boat, reset and paddle on (literally or figuratively).
Thanks for listening…see ya out there on the frisky ripples!
I’ve dealt with body pain–particularly back and neck pain for most of my adult life having been a competitive gymnast as a kid, and then continued to do the things that tear our bodies down. I’d grown accustomed to living at a basic level of pain, perhaps a “2” on the ubiquitous 10-point scale. However, the pain and/or numbness was increasing, making it difficult to do all the things I love let alone sit and drive for more than ten minutes. This was additionally discouraging considering the fact that I was already seeing a PT and massage therapist. Oiy. When a friend recommended I try a new PT it was with a little disbelief that anyone could help, since I’ve seen many different people in the last decade. However, I made the phone call and began working with this new guy, rumored to be “magical”. Our first assessment was…well let’s say “thorough”. His feedback to me was “wow, you’re really messed up”. I was in further doubt when, after all the evaluating he did just a couple of adjustments and gave me a single exercise. One.
The second visit he adjusted a ton of stuff. And then warned me I might be “off” for a week or so. He wasn’t wrong. The next morning I woke to a weird feeling–NO pain. I didn’t have burning at the top of my hamstrings/ass. When I sat in a chair I felt both butt cheeks sitting symmetrically. And, when I skied my left leg actually responded. I hadn’t realized that my body was so wonky or how much I was compensating, or for that matter, what “pain-free” feels like. The challenging part was that I was (and am) still learning to move functionally again. The new body mechanics has completely thrown me off. Walking, dancing, skiing, paddling–all feel foreign. A little awkward. In fact, with the targeted exercises to build my left leg muscles, I’m frequently like Bambi on ice navigating what was totally automatic. This was very obvious when I swam in an easy rapid I’ve “cleaned” soooo many times simply by weighting my upstream leg (unexpectedly) too much and flipping my nose up…and me in the water!…wait, what?…that leg responds with equal force?! Aside from some of the crashes…yes, I fell xc skiing the other day too…it’s all a very positive thing. To move functionally and healthfully is such a gift and one I don’t take for granted. I have many friends right now who are healing from or waiting for knee surgery (my MCL tear was what instigated this blog so many years ago) and it’s such a challenging and painful space to be. Extreme gratitude for my moving body.
Perhaps perfectly aligned with this physical readjustment is an emotional and lifestyle evolution. After many years of living in a set pattern I’ve been doing a lot of self-work. A decade ago I was very focused on meditation and self-actualization. Life got very full and this work largely fell off the map. Now, I’m again learning how to live with intention toward my goals–personal and professional–and it has been transformational. I’m being honest with myself about who I am, who I WANT to be and the space between those points. It’s typically three steps forward, one step back, but I’m chipping away at the areas of “needs improvement” and utilizing an organized point program, created with the help of my sis, to keep my learning at top-of-mind awareness. One of the biggest steps is living in the moment, quieting the “monkey mind” and slowing down. Simplifying. Imposing boycotts for devices and in some circumstances avoiding those situations that invite negativity or gas-lighting to my environment. At least in the moment—ultimately I believe that to truly free yourself from scary or difficult things, you must process and deal with them. I feel like I’m re-learning (or maybe unlearning?) patterns I’ve been living for a long time. It’s fun and rewarding work!
** Appendix to this post… the day after writing the previous paragraphs, I paddled the stretch, for the first time since July, Mill City to the Park, on the North Santiam. It’s the stretch I paddled most when I was learning to whitewater SUP and was essentially in Gates/Mill City 3-4 days most weeks. It had been a run I’d paddled less and less, mostly choosing the Packsaddle stretch upstream for the past several years except when I felt “off” or recovering from sickness or injury or bringing newer paddlers down the river. I was paddling with a friend who was kayaking for the first time post-knee surgery. For me it felt good to be home.
So there you go! Sue Fox working on the 2.0 version!! Complete with a few more wrinkles, couple more gray hairs, and seemingly a lot more energy than I’ve had in a decade to tackle the next adventure. Whatever that might be.
Ok, water was not involved in this adventure–at least not natural, free-flowing water in the form of rivers or oceans However, this trip was a few years in the making and personally “epic” so I’m gonna share! First, a little backstory… I wrote several years ago, about an excursion I took with my mom and sis to the Newport Aquarium to see an exhibit about fossils, created by an artist and scientist. While there I became fascinated with paleontology and “deep time” but also decided it would be fun to grab a beer with the creators of this exhibit (the artist and scientist) since they seemed fun, funny and smart! I assumed they were local but after a minute of research found that the artist was somewhat legendary with his wacky compositions (famously on t-shirts) and the scientist…well, he was the director of the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History and star of several PBS documentaries. The strange thing, without going down a rabbit hole, is that I still reached out and have somehow become friends with both of these characters. And that is what inspired this trip to DC where Kirk lives and runs the Museum.
Fast forward to last week when busy schedules finally aligned. I flew out to Dulles arriving around dinner time. I was exhausted to the point of dizziness, having awakened at 1am to catch an eeeeearly flight out of PDX. But since this trip hinged on Kirk, I rallied when he invited me to dinner. Thank goodness I did, because it launched me into an immediate whirlwind experience that shook me out of my routine here in Central Oregon–in such a great way! Sidenote, my Airbnb was the perfect location to everything…really cute neighborhood two blocks from awesome restaurants, chic little boutiques AND (without me knowing) an aquatics center? (What?!…and for some reason I’d packed my swimsuit for a trip to Washington DC?!?). Kirk showed up at my place and we walked to a fabulous Ukrainian restaurant. An authentic one where the entire staff was seemingly Ukrainian. In fact, the foursome seated next to us were speaking Ukraine and they suggested we try the Honey Cake, a traditional dessert that “grandma” would make. Endearingly, the woman said “hers was better but the restaurant’s was very good”….and it was! This was the real deal. The whole time I was in DC I never ate at a pub or any place that served American food. I get plenty of that in Bend where diversity is…. well, non-existent. Turns out, food was a big part of this trip. I treated myself to pretty much anything that I came across and sounded good. Everything I ate was incredible and I felt like my taste buds were uniquely sensitive to how fabulous everything was.
In fact, I had what seemed, like an explosion of senses. Everything sounded extra special and there was a lot to listen to…like the guy playing the steel drums at Dupont Circle, as if for a concert, yet he was just hanging out. It was a great way to spend a sunny 10 minutes resting on the bench observing a fairly large group of 20-somethings laughing, sort of dancing–mainly flirting with each other and having a great time.
The Capitol Mall and Embassy Row are obviously architecturally beautiful, but the experience compared with Baja last month, and the Pac West in general, was really stimulating because it was different. And I LOVE different! I’m not moving to a city, but on this trip, taking in its energy was really fun. Figuring out the metro, hearing the many languages spoken due to diversity (and a national hub for politicos), being virtually the only white woman in the pool among other places…all of this is very energizing to me. I loved listening to the “suits” having, clearly high-pressure and/or heated conversations on the sidewalks. In fact, I loved looking around and seeing so many people dressed in suits! I know we adore our ubiquitous puffy jackets and jeans around Bend, but damn it’s nice to see people get a little more fashionable. Or a lot-a- bit! Personally, I brought and wore clothes there I rarely (or never) wear here.
And of course, there was the Museum. It was my first time seeing the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History, and it didn’t disappoint. The main floor, in the rotunda is home to “the Elephant” (Kirk’s and my meet-up spot when he had a free hour or two, to tour me around different private collections or areas of the museum). I saw drawers and drawers full of fossils from all over. Ammonites and leaves and partial skeletons of so many things. Also, I learned I’m wildly bad at recognizing fossils and the bones that lie therein. Ha! Doesn’t mean I don’t love seeing and hearing about them, and how big our past was, way before humans walked the earth.
So why do I write about this trip? No rapids were run, no trails hiked or biked, yet this was a challenge from beginning to end. What I mean is, I saw two guys in a movie short at an aquarium almost three years ago. It was a ridiculous thought to begin with, but I went for it, and ultimately saw the goal to the end, and I feel pretty good about that. Maybe give that crazy idea you’ve got a second thought? You never know what could come of it…
Thanks for listening…see ya out there on the frisky ripples.
My trip to La Ventana took on many iterations before execution. It began with the intent of me going down there with a few of my guy buddies–all mutual friends to enjoy the sand and surf (at nearby Todos Santos/El Cerritos), base-camping from my boss’s newly purchased house. The original plan didn’t pan out. And then a girlfriend and I were going to go for a couple weeks and literally two days after buying the tickets she tore her meniscus. The details aren’t really important but what DID happen was that I was presented with a two-week trip, much of which solo, in a town where kiting/winging is the primary attraction. Spoiler alert, I’m neither. What it did create was a “self-retreat” that I didn’t know I deeply needed. I’ve been hosting retreats for a decade and a half for other people, with varying degrees of self-development and exploration as its focus. But for myself, no. What transpired was nothing short of transformative, and at the core of this adventure was the wonderful, beautiful, soul-nourishing ocean which at the risk of sounding totally woo-woo, is the womb of the earth for me, and like a “coming home”.
For me, this vacation really began the day before I left for Mexico, with a reunion of sorts, with longtime friends from undergrad. It doesn’t matter how long we go without seeing each other because we’ve known each other so long, and shared so much, that the laughs and heartfelt catching-up is natural and free-flowing as if we were still sitting down at Taylors on 13th enjoying a beer (or 3). I share this because I boarded the plane the next day with such a sense of joy and groundedness. The flight and customs easy, and the shuttle from the airport long but simple, I arrived in the dark having bought for dinner/breakfast whatever I could grab in 5 minutes from a mini-mart about a mile from the house.
The first day was spent doing mostly nothing! Sidenote: those who know me, know I don’t stay still for long. I thrive in action and activity, at times to my own detriment. In this wonderful space, all alone, with no access to the van (yet) or bike (yet) or anyone to answer to, meet up with, appointments etc, I simply lazed into the day. Slept in! Poked around figuring out the nuances of the house…where’s the water? Here’s the French press to make my coffee. The book I’d brought for the trip was missing about 50 pages starting at page 38. As if the universe was making an extra effort to provide, one of the rooms had a shelf of books including a Bill Bryson book I’d wanted to read and a second book “Inward” which is a reflective book on one’s emotional self. I began each day by opening it at random and letting the message guide me. I love music and I’d decided I would explore a completely new genre and after several “no go’s” I landed on African Drum/Lounge Music which was PERFECT.
After hours and hours of doing “nothing” I jumped in the ocean for a swim. This was fantastic. Having lived in Maui for years it was an experience I was spoiled with and didn’t realize how much I missed. Post swim, I took my time but eventually made it out the gate and began the walk to town to explore. I took a small, light-weight backpack and my phone/wallet walking the dirt road which eventually turns to pavement. Hitch-hiking is really easy in this town and I accepted a ride to the north end of town-proper, but walked the town from there… about 6 miles round trip that day. I checked out whatever grabbed my attention. Drank a smoothie. Got basic details on mountain bike rentals, going rate for massages. On the way back, hitched another ride from a kite instructor, making my first new friend. The cool thing about traveling alone is that you make friends easier. It just IS.
Day two, much of the same. Except for one big exception…as I walked onto the beach right outside the house, I ran into a woman who I thought was the woman staying in the upper house. It was not, but turned out to be a Canadian woman from Fernie who knew an old friend of mine from grad school. She invited me to join she and a crew that were going biking that late afternoon in the south trails. By now I’d scored a mountain bike and I said “hell ya!” This began a really fun series of activities from bike rides to dinners, salsa dancing and drinks. What a fun group of people and I’d have to say Canadians are about the easiest people to like.
With that said, I still had an abundance of alone time. Each morning after my slow start, I’d paddle the SUP downwind and back up checking out the AMAZING fish and marine life the Sea of Cortez is known for. I can say, without question, it’s the best experience I’ve had for this, and that includes living in Hawaii for three years. Humpbacks, dolphins and Mobula rays plus so so so many incredible fish. There were times when I thought “where are the camera crews?! Is someone getting this?” because it was straight out of some NOVA special. And then I’d swim and snorkel.
There are moments in my life that I remember with extreme clarity. One such moment was the morning I sat on my paddleboard, post surf session, staring at the west Maui mountains and knew I needed to move off island because it was “time”. Another of those moments happened a few weeks ago on this trip, swimming in the Sea of Cortez right out the door of Geoff’s house. Staring out at Carvello island (now named Cousteau island) I knew with every fiber of my being that all the changes in my life over the past 6 months were true and right and the best for me and my path forward. All of them. I’ve led a life of wanderlust, and while I’ve lived in Bend for longer than I’ve lived anywhere in my adult life, I made the decision a long time ago to live a somewhat “non-traditional” life. I don’t have the family and picket fence (and what that all represents) but what I crave in my life at this time, is to have and grow my community and to explore the world, experiencing adventures along the way (which are not always easy or positive) but ARE character-building and self-expanding.
The rest of the trip was fabulously fun. I saw old friends, hung with new friends and my boss/buddy/house-owner showed up and knows everyone which was fun too. I’m grateful for ALL of it. For me, La Ventana–translated “The Window” truly was a window for me to view my path forward with clarity. The details are still taking shape slowly. But one thing’s for sure…it will include more trips to Mexico!
Thanks for listening and I’ll see ya out there on the frisky ripples….river, oceans, lakes or trails!
I don’t spend a lot of time in “if onlys” or “what ifs”. Life unfolds the way it should, based on a million different decisions, actions and behaviors. This has been a roller-coaster decade for me personally, full of SO many incredibly wonderful experiences. And some pretty shitty ones. I’m not alone…everyone has their share of suck. I’ve watched family and friends battle disease (some overcoming it and some not) and tragic accidents that have upended families, impacting them with the worst outcomes. It’s cliche but what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger…and hopefully more positive. There have been thousands of books written on positivity, moving cheese?! (haha…change) and living life in the present. Here’s just one more blog if you didn’t get enough!
My sis and I have been focusing a lot on change and how to intentionally craft the life you want. We began communicating about it almost daily, over a year ago when she was diagnosed with cancer for the second time. Literally the very next day she set about making change and DOING. Doing the things that made her happy and fulfilled. She also was extremely helpful and generous with her time…most notably to my mom who was going through, as it turned out, a life-threatening condition resulting in major surgery and a lengthy recovery. The tenacity with which my sister has stuck to her “new life” is quite inspiring. I treasure our daily emails and texts, supporting each other and looking forward to many many exciting changes.
Additionally, we’ve been talking about “mindfulness”. There are a lot of different practitioners that use buzz phrases..Power of Now, Radical Acceptance, How to not give a F&$k (a more “hip” and sexier branding)…it’s all essentially the same thing we’ve been studying for years. The concept is extraordinarily simple, yet very very difficult to do. It’s this…put down your damn devices, stop multi-tasking, get out of your head and BE with wherever you are. Use your senses (touch, taste, smell, sound, and sight) to perceive the moment. Talk WITH the person you’re communicating with (not thinking about a million other things while doing it). And for God sake…and this is a big one…stop worrying. Have you ever considered what worrying does for you? Not a damn thing. Not ONE DAMN THING. Except stress you out, make you anxious, mess with your sleep, and annoy the crap out of your friends and family talking endlessly about negativity and fear.
Let’s be clear…that doesn’t mean hard things don’t happen. It’s just how we move through the events. Everyone deals with trauma differently–some let it define them, place blame or act harshly to the world around them (no finger pointing or judgement). Others, move through, feeling the “feels” but doing okay, and yet others acknowledge, accept and perhaps even internalize the event as a learning opportunity for personal growth and compassion. But one thing is a truth…worrying won’t change or affect anything.
As the glittery lights and holiday parties wind down this year, and we’re left with the gray winter (and apparently no snow here in central Oregon anyway…oiy!) maybe consider picking up one of these books about mindfulness–or listening to a podcast if that’s your jam. You have nothing to lose! …except maybe a whole lot of worrying!
Thanks for listening! See ya out there on the frisky ripples….
I tend to be the kind of person that thinks whatever awesome thing is in front of me is “the best ever”. Example–if I’m eating an incredible Italian dinner, you might hear me exclaim that Italian food is the best and my “favorite”. You could catch me saying the same about Mexican, Thai, etc the very next day. So I’ll spare you the “best” bullshit but will say I had an incredible time on the very short but enjoyable paddle from Trout Creek to Harpum last weekend.
There was a crew of about 12 of us…coordinated as a staff trip but ultimately we had about as many “friends of the shop” (a legacy Tumalo term) as staff. The paddling community tends to share a “come one come all” everyone welcome, kind of attitude. This can create a dynamic where many personalities, abilities and river-experience intermix. Many a time, that can cause drama, especially when river trips are also known for imbibing a little…or a lot…or a shit-ton (an official measurement that lies between “crap-ton” and “fuck-ton”). This trip everyone was basically a river guide. Everyone adores one another (ok, everyone gets along/likes one another but with enough party-favors we all adore one another…ha!) And, almost everyone had been on at least one if not countless river trips together. We were efficient and no one needed hand-holding (not that that’s bad…we all learn somehow) but it can be nice to just flow.
The weather was predicted to rain. It didn’t. Not even a little. It was gloriously beautiful. So we set out at a leisurely but reasonable start from Trout with laughs and good vibes already going. I sat on Otis’s boat (long time friend and great guy). I brought my paddleboard but I’d already determined that the trip was more about socializing than paddling for me, especially since the Lower D is a higher-volume river versus the low-volume, “creeky” style of paddling I prefer. With that said, when I was on my board I was able to paddle around and chat with the various rafts that also had different genres of music playing, from Bluegrass to old-school rap (can you guess which I spent more time around?).
We camped at Davidson campground which is a fabulous group site. The kitchen was set up high and I was able to set my tent right next to the river near a small rapid that could lull me to sleep, eventually. First, I was able to cold plunge/river bath which is my favorite to re-energize after a day of paddling and camp set-up. Then, let the festivities begin! It was Lauri’s birthday, so there were boas and a huge cake-compliments of Otis’s fine Dutch oven skills and my “overseeing the project” to determine the best combination of cakes and frostings. Spoiler alert, we did ALL of them. Yellow cake layered on German chocolate cake with cream cheese frosting filling and caramel pecan frosting on top. Yum! The wine and beer and tequila and gin were flowing. Dinner was fabulous prepared by all the men, lead by Geoff. The women stood around the fire sharing drinks, dirty jokes and ultimately doing nothing but being “fabulous”… a dynamic all the men and women laughed about as it seemed a role reversal if you’re talking about historically stereotypical gender roles. PS, there were two lesbians and one bisexual woman on this trip. Let’s just say there was nothing stereotypical about this group or the conversations throughout. It was awesome. And of course, there was a dance party which eventually became just three of us dancing around the fire because DJ Hannah (in the h-ouuuuuse) continued to play the best songs and we just couldn’t stop. At some point in the night I stumbled down to my tent and slept like a baby…river song enhanced.
The following morning I woke early…hours before anyone else…and went for a hike up to a viewpoint. It was deliciously beautiful and a great reminder about life and all the rad things to experience out there. Great breakfast, paddling, wind, yadda yadda… we all packed up and drove back. You know the drill. What the key element was for me on this short but delightful trip was this…a big reset. An infusion of so much laughter and friends and joy that it ushered out any heavy or stressful thoughts. My life stands ahead of me in its full glory. With friends, community, rivers and revelations. It was, the perfect trip.
It’s been a full week. Lots of work. Lots of fun. The last two days I’ve had the pleasure of training a woman who I met at a flatwater SUP clinic in Washington this last spring. She brought strong foundational skills to the river which made it easy to apply when starting on whitewater. For me, it also brought some fun conversation about why we instruct SUP to begin with.
It’s kind of a quirky activity really–a “sport” that you can literally throw a cooler, a dog and a kid on the equipment if that’s your jam. Yet the reality is that both she and I have consistently watched people try…and fail…to be able to stand on their board. (** Reminder, early on I was quoted in the Bend Source Weekly saying “There’s no shame in being on your knees”…a quote that lives on as a joke at TC and with many friends). True, you can sit on your board and use it as a platform/dock on the water. To actually stand is challenging for many, for all kinds of reasons. This is the joy–helping people who are either physically challenged or don’t believe they can do it. When they do, it’s a huge win. I’ve experienced tears of joy when they do, and heard a lot of hootin’ and hollerin’. I’ve had first-time students who are really challenged at initially, but have become passionate about paddling and eventually helped lead socials and tours. This is why I also love instructing whitewater SUP. The same “drink the kool-aid kind of response”. It doesn’t have to be scary, starting small–maybe with some “butterflies” but eventually doing and realizing it’s okay. In fact, really fun! And confidence boosting.
This brings me to our conversation and the key take-away. Big freakin’ props to those of you exceptional athletes who are winning medals or getting sponsored being “the best” in your sport. To me, the accomplishment is just as real for someone whose life is so foreign to activity that standing on a paddleboard on the water is a crazy thought. It’s a big deal.
Sometimes things seem really hard. Impossible even. Don’t give up because you can’t win the marathon. Or even finish the marathon. Sometimes the “win” is simply training for the marathon, OR volunteering to hand out water AT the marathon. It’s all relative and I applaud anyone who wants to change or improve their situation. By reaching for THEIR stars.
Thanks for listening and I’ll see ya out on the frisky ripples.
Frisky Ripples 