A Short Exploration of Southern Oregon…

The idea began with an article in local mag 1859, when I read about a half-day scenic float on the Rogue…class II’s, taking out at what appeared to be an idyllic lodge (Morrison’s) on the river, downstream of Gallice and not too far from Grants Pass.  Only about three and a half hours out of Bend, I could paddle along with the commercial raft trip on my SUP…right?  Better invite my sis who likes to get her adventure on…so that would round out the fun.  Mmmm well, my sis and I DID have fun and adventure in southern Oregon, but it didn’t go quite so simply.

Once I got the confirmation from my sister I started making plans. Apparently commercial raft outfitters will allow IK’s on their trips but not SUPs.  Okee dokee.  How can I make this happen? (because I’m super safety conscious about not running whitewater alone–especially a river I’m unfamiliar with).    Was hoping to find a local friend, or friend-of-a-friend to go with me.  No go!! Finally, made arrangements with Sundance Kayak School who agreed to take me down, at the private lesson rate.  The logistics weren’t easy, as it was hard to get connected, but we figured it all out via a combination of email, text and random calls from a woman helping out.  I understand all this…don’t get me wrong…with a small seasonal business, that’s how it goes.  Once I got my paddle excursion set, it was time to consider the rest.  We ended up choosing Wolf Creek Inn & Tavern–the oldest continuously running lodge in Oregon, on the lesser known “Applegate Trail” (another route to Oregon versus the well-known Lewis & Clark Oregon Trail).  Yay!! Adventure AND history.  Good stuff.

I left Bend early thinking I’d hike along the way but a rare August full-day storm jinxed those plans.  That’s ok…earlier to the lodge and dinner which was reputed to be next level (it was).  Simply hanging with my sister is fun.  We “get” each other.  The first full day was great.  I had some time before my paddle so I hiked the Graves Creek trail (which originates at the put-in for the Wild & Scenic section on the Rogue river).  It was gorgeous and aside from poison oak being what appeared to be the primary ground cover, I’d recommend highly.  Side note, I didn’t catch it.

Met with Steve, my co-hort and guide for the SUP paddle from Gallice to Alemeda–a lot shorter run than I’d anticipated. The Rogue is comprised of flat water and pool drops which meant I really didn’t get to run a whole bunch of rapids, but Steve was nice and the wildlife was cool.  We saw heron, osprey, kingfishers, a bald eagle and a beaver!  However, when we finished it was early and I wanted to run more rapids.  Talked Steve into hiking back up to run the final (and most fun) rapids again.  He was a good sport and went along with it.  This wasn’t a small ask, as we literally had to hike our gear through thigh-high rapids and current.  Me, with my board and he with his whitewater kayak.  I was determined.

With the paddling done, I returned to the lodge where my sister and I met and drove to Grants Pass.  Having never spent time there, I was delighted by what seems to be a “quaint” town.  Parking at the edge of downtown, we noticed cute bear statues…one by one.  Turns out, in an effort to raise money for the arts, Grants Pass created “Bear Fest” which calls out to local artists to make statues and fund raise.  For my sister and I, it was a new goal…to take as many pictures with these delightful statues.  We saw 15…there are over 80. Grants Pass might be cute, but apparently not much for nightlife, with shops closing at 4pm, so we made our way back to the Inn where we had another great dinner and turned in early.

The last full day we filled with a rafting adventure, guided by Morrison’s Lodge Outfitters.  It began with an outstanding lunch followed by the typical safety talk. We launched from Morrison’s back lawn, paddling the same stretch I’d SUP’ed the day before but continued downstream with the rapid “Argo” as the grand finale.  It was great fun and our guide personable and unique–the kid is learning five musical instruments including the bagpipes and concertina which normally I’d consider “guide bullshit” but I’ve known that kind of talk for decades now and he’s legit.

Everyone kept talking about “Argo” and after awhile I was feeling tentative.  Why would such a big rapid, be on what’s advertised as a “splash and giggle” run?!  All I’ll say is, there are a few moves in the run and it’s clearly more technical than what we’d paddled upstream.  I also know that things could go sideways (literally) very fast.  However, after the hype, I thought we still had the meat of the rapid to go when we were done. No one swam, no problems, and rafting that second day made our trip. We were glad to have joined.

That just about wrapped up our adventure with the exception of a wonderful meal, complete with homemade marionberry pie ala mode and ribs that rivaled any I’ve ever had.  It was a perfect balance of sister time, goofiness, river time and exploring the area.  I’m always encouraging the balance, so get out there and get you some!!  Try something new.  Rediscover something old.  Just do something.

Thanks for listening…

Rogue 1
A beautiful hike at Grave’s Creek
Rogue 2
Entrance to Wild & Scenic
Rogue 3
Thanks Steve at Sundance Kayak!
Rogue 4
Monet Bear!
Rogue 5
Below Argo and our take-out








A Very Challenging “Ripple”

Life.  No one gives us an instruction manual for it.  Sure we can read self enrichment books or “how to’s” on any number of things.  But the reality is we experience it ourselves–make our own choices with our unique set of consequences.  To use the paddling metaphor, what one set of rapids is easy for a paddler might send another swimming.  The reality I’m processing right now is not the journey of life, but the part where you’re–mathematically speaking–getting to the end.  Even if you’re healthy and active, averages tell us that the older you are, the closer you are to the inevitable.  It’s not something I’ve personally agonized over but the idea seems to be really relevant, very present in my life right now.

I’ve spent over 20 years working with an aging population and the one thing I hear repeatedly is that your mind feels the same but your body is different–it doesn’t “cooperate”.  I can believe this.  I’m not “old” but I’m not “young” either, and have enough time under my belt to say I commiserate with this statement.  I don’t feel my age, even if I DO chronically drink hot water and lemon and  go to sleep at 9pm but  I’ve done that since my 20’s and I run circles around many teenagers I know.   I wouldn’t consider myself a “senior” yet.  But aging is hard, even in the most ideal scenarios.

My father is one example of a “worst case” scenario.  He was a man who was very athletic in his middle age, plus sharp witted and intelligent.  The signs began in his mid-60’s.  Alzheimer’s was a huge fear of his and he resisted the diagnosis.  Intellectually I’ve known he will decline to the point of not recognizing me and needing round-the-clock care that only professionals can provide.  But in my heart, I guess I never believed it would happen.  HE was larger than life.  Stronger than that.  Except he isn’t.  Now, when I visit my dad, if I’m lucky enough to get a response that appears he recognizes me, I’m not sure he recognizes me as “Sue, his youngest daughter” but perhaps someone he is familiar with.  Side note: I want to clear something up for those who haven’t experienced someone with Alzheimer’s. It isn’t a quaint disease where the patient becomes a little confused or forgets things.  Yes, they DO get confused and they DO forget things .  Please move from your mind that softened, almost “sweet”  version Hollywood has displayed for us, thanks to movies like The Notebook.  It’s ugly.  It stinks.  It’s degrading for both the patient and the survivors. It changes the person immeasurably and it’s incredibly hard to deal with.  Knowing you will decline has got to be one of the worst fears a person can experience.  You will lose control on so many levels.

I believe loss of control is the biggest fear we have as we age.  Truly, we want to be in control our whole life (and it’s somewhat of fallacy as we can truly control so little).  However, as our faculties fail us we have to depend on others for so much–sometimes everything. Whether people come to our homes to care for us full time, or we eventually move into a facility we are at the mercy of those caring for us.  I have seen both first hand.  I’ve seen the pluses and minuses first hand.

The interesting thing about getting older is that, even if we don’t feel we’ve aged, our interests and wishes might change. Like moving from our teens and 20’s when we partied non-stop, constantly socializing and (for some) “clubbing”…and then got pretty bored with that scene to the point where it sounds absolutely horrible….well I imagine it’s the same as we move past middle age.  Our day-to day, moment-to-moment interests might change?  I don’t know…I imagine so, right? I kind of hope it because I never want to stay stagnant in one mindset.  But also I believe the universe matches our brains with our bodies. We’re truly just a bunch of energy matter and hormones running around anyway, right? As these things evolve I wonder how the mind does too.  I can say I’ve spoken with friends who are approaching their 70’s and they’ve admitted to me they’re kind of scared.  I don’t blame them.

And then…part way through writing this post which was based on the realities of aging and mortality, the Coronavirus hit.  I won’t go into the wildly varying opinions and reactions to this pandemic, from political to personal approaches.  What I’m wondering is how it would feel to watch this unravel and I were not in my 40’s and healthy.  I wonder how the public would react if this disease targeted everyone equally…if age WASN’T a factor.  In other words, the mortality rate associated affected everyone equally.  I believe our society disregards the aging population frequently, which is a shame.  It can’t feel good to watch this go down and hear some of the community make statements like ” everyone is over-reacting” because…y’know… it “only affects the elderly and compromised”.  Side note, along with “social distancing” I’m also “social MEDIA distancing”….except to post this post!  (hahaha).

I’ve watched people age with grace, dignity and selflessness.  And I’ve watched others do…well the opposite.  Not a judgement, but I hope I’m a person that doesn’t behave poorly and treat people–especially caretakers, like crap.  There’s clearly anger and fear surrounding these behaviors but it seems like age is like money…it embellishes our truest character.  I remember both my grandmother and our longtime friend Ray Carl age together (literally in the same care facility).  I would love to say my grandma was a peach.  She was not, but then she didn’t treat folks all that kindly when she was young.  She was tough on them and somewhat like a child wanting attention.  Not Ray Carl.  He seized life with zeal until he was without breath, and treated everyone around him, quietly, compassionately and as humans.  He still said please and thank you.  He had lived a good life, experienced sorrows and challenges–like all of us…perhaps more– and did his best to maximize every moment.  I really respected that guy.

However, I can only surmise and ponder. Facing your own mortality has got to be really, really difficult.  All I can do is make good choices for myself today and maximize the time I have now.

Thanks for listening.

Me and Marcy
“My Marci” and Charlie. Inspirational women on so many levels.

True Love…

In this busy life, we commonly get consumed with those things we have to do as adults.  Seemingly simple things, like provide ourselves with shelter, food and basic medical needs.  All this adulting leads us to jobs, using technology/devices and participating in a lifestyle that can commonly be considered stressful.  Sorry if this sounds all Debbie Downer. It’s not. I love my life and enjoy the daily challenges which I have created based on my choices.  My partner, my friends, my career AND my pastimes.  

This week was a pretty solid representation of how I approach my life–a “snapshot” into Sue’s world.  I’d wrapped up four days of work (teaching water classes at the Athletic Club of Bend, two of the four mornings) and working with Tumalo Creek.  With all the prep and transition at TC there is a LOT going on and by the time I left for Bliss dance on Wednesday night my head was full. Just a little hip hop dance and I’m refreshed enough to drive my tired ass home, make dinner, clean up, snuggle the Pu Bear (my cat) and read for about 3.5 minutes before getting so sleepy I couldn’t stay awake.  Which leads me into Thursday, my first day off of my 3-day weekend. I’m always a little anxious on my first morning off. During the workweek I operate on such a tight schedule that I have to be very conscious of every hour…sometimes every minute. It takes me some time to shed that constant nagging in the back of my head telling me I shouldn’t just sit around and drink coffee.  So, that’s what I did. I sat around and drank coffee. I “puttered”. Truly I can’t tell you what all I did in the first 3-4 hours of Thursday, but somehow the studio is a little cleaner, there are more groceries in the fridge and I’ve paid some bills. Now it’s time for fun.

The weather was gorgeous, snow was groomed to a fine corduroy and some friends/co-workers were up at the mountain already.  Full transparency here… this was my first time up of the season, to downhill ski. Embarrassing, yes. It’s been a unique winter and frankly I haven’t been in Bend all that much on days off.  I chose to take a few runs solo to shake off the first day jitters. Or whatever that is. I was happily surprised to find that my legs felt pretty strong, and after about 5 or 6 runs I met up with the crew.  With the conditions as they were I think we rode well together. Had it been a super pow day, probably not, as my days of tree skiing… well they were fairly limited to begin with. But this? What transpired was just all kinds of giggly fun.  I love these people. It was awesome to ride/ski with them. In fact, I really can’t describe enough, what a smile it put on my face.

Having had such a great mid-day I was ready to get back to those more mundane tasks of “adulting” and prepping for my quick trip to Portland the next day. Portland and the Santiam canyon are where my guy lives (which creates an interesting dynamic overall, in my life).  I left first thing in the morning but met with Sam at Oxbow Park on the Sandy River where we’d decided around 9pm the night before, we’d meet and paddle. I’d rafted Dodge Park to Oxbow a few New Years Days ago with the American Whitewater group for their annual event. This time we were going to walk and then paddleboard Oxbow to Oxbow.  It’s only about 2 miles at most, and it felt like 10 minutes. But here is the “take away” and point of this post… it probably took us longer to drive shuttle, inflate my board and put on our gear than it did to paddle that short stretch. Sure felt like it. However, our love for paddling made it worth it. To have just 25 minutes on the water was better than not.  In fact, during the summer months when things get super duper busy, we’ll do a similar thing on the Santiam river where I’ve been known to LITERALLY run the shuttle–driving a car down to the Gates Bridge and then run back to the house where we jump on our boards below the house and eek out 25 minutes of paddling (by playing in standing waves or screwing around in eddies).  Because nothing makes the day better than doing something you love. It’s not paddling for everyone (and for me it’s also biking or nordic/alpine skiing). The point is that it’s better to do a small amount of something that makes you shine than not at all. And I don’t mean “shine” in “you totally excel at it” but shine with happiness. Shine with that feeling of giddiness.  It balances the less shiny aspects of life. So get out there! (Metaphorically. If you’re into knitting or ceramics you’d technically stay in), but what I’m saying is make sure you squeeze in what makes you happy.

Thanks for listening…see you out there on the frisky ripples!

Costa Rica Part 2

If you haven’t been to Costa Rica, put it on your bucket list.  I’ve been to other central and south American countries and had heard Costa Rica is “touristy”, but this isn’t something that resonated with me while there.  Instead, I found it friendly, clean, accommodating and stunningly beautiful.  This was what was on my mind staying at the Pacuare Outdoor Center overlooking the legendary Pacuare river a month ago.  The crew (all better whitewater paddleboarders than myself) and I had just paddled to the POC on our boards, but now I was going to trade my paddleboard for a seat on a raft to paddle the decidedly NOT frisky rapids. These were the real deal.

I’m a paddler that has an inherent desire to stay on (or in) my craft.  I’ve swam plenty of times, falling off my board,  but I’ve never swam class IV rapids and I was hoping this time wasn’t going to break my streak.  With our crew I felt pretty damn confident (although anything can happen).  Our guide Diego, began guiding at 15 years old and is now 30.  He knows his stuff, not to mention the other paddlers in the raft were Natali (who guided on the Grand Canyon for years), Jason–who was brand new to rafting but a strong paddler in other craft, and a local kid who was in training to be a guide.  The Pacuare is known for its beauty.  It didn’t disappoint there.  Waterfalls cascaded into the river and we made our way through various landscapes, mostly with the jungle surrounding us along the canyon walls.  The rapids were fun, Diego nailed the lines, and aside from the local kid falling out of the boat (twice in one set of rapids) we paddled without issue.  Even his swim was dealt with, in “textbook” form getting him safely back in the boat…twice… and keeping the raft upright.  Way to go Diego and team! The last couple miles were mostly frisky ripples, and I briefly SUP’ped, for a few small rapids, but was mostly basking in gratitude to have just experienced this stunning river with such amazing people.

Having the Pacuare under our belt, the team schlepped the rafts and loaded up to head toward the Carribean coast.  Side note–our packing was always somewhat humorous with Brittany’s jeep having a personality of her own.  Its security system had a lot to “say”, as if she were an integral part of the team (in fact she WAS, since we had lots of gear and the jeep was loaded with it). We were driving toward Puerto Viejo, a little beach/surf town that reminded me a lot of Paia in Maui but more “rasta-fied” with the Carribean influence.  Back in the land of bicyclists juggling their surfboards while negotiating traffic and the frequent need to check out the pedestrians milling about scantily clad in their bikinis.  This felt strangely familiar and  I liked it.  We made our way to our resort, north of the downtown, but once settled in, went back to town for an outstanding dinner and drinks after.  The club was called “Hot” something… Rocks?  Box? I honestly don’t remember but when the live band took their break a two-person team wowed us with their show–sort of like a mini- Cirque de Soleil.  The woman was particularly impressive, hoola hooping no less than 7 hoops in ways I didn’t think could be hoola-ed.

No need to bore with the rest of the details.  We spent our final day together doing touristy things–eating, shopping and site-seeing.  More monkeys, sloths, and birds. The Amazing Vacations crew made their way back to Turrialba and I ventured on, meeting an old friend from when I was 12 years old, who had lived with our family for months, in the USA as an exchange student.  We’d loosely stayed in touch, and now we were reunited after over 20 years.  I stayed with her in the jungle mountains outside of Hone Creek for several days where I was introduced to sweat-lodge drumming/singing, moon dancing and jungle interval training.  Life is full of unique learning experiences if you’re open to them.

I took a shuttle from Puerto Viejo to La Fortuna where I enjoyed a final solo mission before wrapping up my trip– in search of waterfalls, the volcano “Arsenal” and sunshine.  Full transparency… I was really struggling with the non-stop torrential rain.  Rain in a way I’d never experienced.  I’m no stranger to rain, having grown up in the Willamette valley, and rainy weather is fine when you’re paddling.  But when you’re trying to sight see, or enjoy the beach, it’s sort of a bummer.  Especially rain like you jumped in a pool.  And then never got dry.  This was my personal journey of overcoming the uncomfortable surroundings– a situation where you’ve looked forward to what should be sunny, central American reprieve from the winter at home, and then it rains the whole time.  I became “one” with the rain on my walk home from the observatory outside of La Fortuna.  I never did SEE the volcano since it was obscured by the clouds and weather.  However, after Uber had no cars to drive me the 6 miles to town, I began the walk back and made literal, the metaphor of life–dancing through the rain.  I looked around me, and going at a much slower pace I noticed the beautiful countryside.  The regular rain would be interrupted by the pounding rain, and for those minutes I found various forms of “cover”. And then continued my walk.  I felt good.  I felt strong and like I’d somehow returned to “me”.  Here’s the thing:  international travel is frequently hard and uncomfortable, both physically and emotionally.  But if you’re willing to deal with the discomfort it’s important and enriching.  You get wet, but eventually you’ll get dry. It’s like life, and I’m up for it.

If you’re interested in more details give me a shout.  If you’re headed to Costa Rica and need ideas, I have many.  Check out Amazing Vacations.  Check out Canopy Adventures.  I can’t speak highly enough about Chilamate Eco retreat in Sarapiqui.

Photo credit: Brittany Parker

Pacuare 1Pacuare 2Pacuare 3Pacuare 4Pacuare 5Thanks for listening…see you out there on the frisky ripples.

Costa Rica Frisky Ripples-Style Part One

I haven’t done a whole lot of international travel alone–without friends or clients–so when I had a unique opportunity to go on a paddling trip in addition to some site-seeing in Costa Rica, I said “hell yeah” and booked my flight.  I flew in to San Jose where I stayed at an adorable and apparently historic little hotel called Hotel Aranjuez. It is cute and serves an outstanding buffet breakfast with omelets made to order. I was impressed by how clean it is (and Costa Rica in general). 

San Jose is a fun little city.  It’s artsy and full of museums (although heads up…Mondays almost all of them are closed). For me I really enjoy immersing in the culture and forcing myself to speak Spanish. In fact, I enjoy the taxi rides because I can almost always get a little Spanish lesson the entire time (with the exception of a surprisingly untalkative Uber driver heading back from Barva…but I digress). If you’re staying in San Jose, I highly recommend Calle 33 district for dinner. It’s a nice little street of restaurants that are tasty and adorable–works of art.  I chose “Saul”, a trendy spot that has amazing crepes, good service and decorated with awesome artwork. I got a kick out of their music–they played mellow “hip hop-ish” songs from the US (in English) but SUPER NASTY lyrics. I mean NASTY.  Here’s your ensalada with a side of “F@#$k that…well you get the idea. An interesting dichotomy that you wouldn’t hear eating in any upscale restaurant in Oregon–dance club in the city, yes. I had to laugh. Either way, a memorable experience.

My second full day in San Jose I left for the mountains out of Barva where I was excited to meet Arturo (one of Sam’s best friends and compadres for decades) who owns an adventure center there.  He’d graciously invited me to zipline at his Canopy Adventures which does a FABULOUS job. They are professional, safe and the area is gorgeous. After the ziplining, I had the opportunity to walk the trails with one of his crew, Alba.  She’s a lovely woman who doesn’t speak English but was great companionship (and guide) through the forest. The adventure took the better part of the day with travel, so to bed early to get up very early and connect with the paddling crew….


Let’s be honest, while I’m traveling “solo” it’s not like I was planning on hanging alone the whole time.  Instead, I arranged a solid 6 days with Brittany Parker, Natali Zolinger and their local outfitter partner Amazing Vacations.  Even better, Nadia Almuti joined us plus Alex and Jason who I hadn’t met before but are great. I met up with the crew in Sarapiqui where I got on my board for the first time in about two months.  I was rusty but quickly got my “river legs” back. The Sarapiqui is gorgeous and the rapids fun…class II’s. A great warm-up for what was to come. I’m amazed at the wildlife and how visible they are. Not a random sighting here and there but “monkey trees” as I call them, because it looks like the tree is growing monkeys…just as an example.  Within minutes of arriving we saw a mama Sloth with her baby.  Adorable!



Photo Credit: Natali Zollinger

Day two we decided to paddle a calm stretch on the Puerto Viejo river, to check out the wildlife rather than get our adrenaline rush.  Little did we know it would be a flatwater stretch “with class V trees”! There’d been a LOT of rain the previous day/night and trees in the jungle have very shallow roots.  We had trees falling IN THE RIVER as we were paddling. Sketchy and cool all at the same time. We saw a ton of wildlife and it was a great “rest day” for the next day on the Pacuare.  



Photo Credit: Natali Zollinger

Let me pause here, and rave about Amazing Vacations. Walter who is co-owner and what I believe is the talent behind and success of AV came with us. He, Brittany and Natali really have this trip dialed–paddling the best, most appropriate stuff at the right time and lodging at the “awesomest” locations. Walter and his team, as well as Brittany and Natali, have taken such great care of me and my nuanced needs. I can’t say enough great things about these people. Biggest gratitude!!

Consistent with the name and motivation behind my blog, I love adventure sports…whitewater paddleboard in particular, but have a basic “fear” of whitewater.  Weird? Probably. But it’s something I continue to work on and challenge myself as a paddler…overcoming the fear to do what I enjoy. Brittany was my “security blanket” as we made our way down the 6-mile class II/III stretch of the Pacuare. I followed her lines explicitly sometimes getting so close that I was basically “lurking”. Haha…like mama and baby ducklings.  The debrief from Pacuare day one? I am proud of myself. I did well. I styled many sets of rapids I didn’t think I would, standing up through them and paddling how and when I needed to. I took several rapids on my knees. I also swam three times…one time hitting my hip on a rock giving myself a shiner and sore pelvis. AND, I walked a set of intimidating rapids and stand by that decision. It was over my pay grade, and while I maybe could have done it on my knees without falling in, it felt good to come off the river confident rather than a little scared.  


Photo credit: Brittany Parker

Also, a little beta regarding equipment.  I paddled a newer Hala Atcha lent to me here.  I’ve always sworn by my older 9’6 with the piercing nose, but I’m a convert.  The blunter nose with more rocker served me well and probably how I managed to stand through many of the rapids I might not have, with my own board.  However, I also need to demo the Badfish River Shred because compadre Jason swore by it, and he’s been a Hala fan for years. I recommend trying both before you buy…for those who are in the market.  I’m upgrading for sure this season but the jury is still out on which brand it will be.

SO, we paddled the first part of the Pacuare to the Pacuare Outdoor Center where we stayed two nights with a layover “rest” day.  This place is one of the most beautiful lodges I’ve ever seen and I can’t imagine leaving after just one night. It’s a trek up a trail from river to cabins because it’s on a mountainside, but that location is what buys you such great views.  I felt like I’d walked into a movie (accidentally) as the leading lady, since I usually “dirtbag it” when traveling. This incredible private cabin was for me?! Yikes. It felt luxurious and wonderful.


Walter, Davis and Jonathon stoked out the whole group with outstanding appetizers, dinner and “jungle juice” made of locally created sugar cane alcohol.  The rest of the night was full of laughing, a drinking game called “Flip Cup” where I wore a “penis apron” and colander hat, and then just a little “black magic” as Walter called it. No worries though. There was plenty of dancing (table and otherwise). Oh yes, I might have done a table dance but before you get too excited it showcased the running man and a really bad version of “The Floss”. I redeemed myself with the Bachata.  Sort of. Davis is a great teacher and partner. A full moon and a night frog hike was the finishing touch on this perfect night.  Stay tuned for what comes next on Pacuare and past….

Thanks for listening.  See you out there on the frisky ripples!

7d59b612-d358-42b1-b984-6cd9cfdc35eaPhoto credit: Brittany Parker… yeah Brittany!

Ooopsies, Oh-oh’s and Oh Shits…

If you’ve engaged in a sport long enough you probably know the feeling of near-misses.  That “almost fall” for which you feel very grateful you pulled it off unscathed.  Like yesterday toward the end of an incredibly fun late-season bike ride. Trying to keep up with my totally badass cohort who always schools me on the downhills, I had a moment where both feet were off my pedals and my bum slammed down hard on my saddle after catching a little air and not quite landing it 100%.  However, what would have been a total “oh shit” crash was an “oopsy” that made me more grateful I DIDN’T dislocate my hip (as a friend of mine did a month ago) or crack ribs and separate a shoulder…like another friend earlier this summer.  The gratitude has lingered with me into this morning, since I’ve experienced the other situation–that injury that lands you out of the game, and sometimes out of normal life, for an extended amount of time.  Thank you bike gods for granting me this “get out of jail free” pass!!

We don’t always come out entirely unscathed on this adventure called life, and sometimes it’s not manifested in a physical injury.  Last week we placed my dad in a full-time care facility, after nearly a decade of in-home care provided by my mom.  It was time.  It was BEYOND time.  Sparing the details, my mom had almost single-handedly taken care of my dad’s moment to moment needs while he slipped farther away with Alzheimers disease.  It’s been a struggle. I know that going to a facility is necessary and I’ve had many years to process and cope with the situation.  The reality is, I don’t think I have done a great job of working through this.  I saw a post on Facebook…a quote by Keenu Reeves…of all people… saying something about individuals who experience true crisis but maintain kindness and compassion throughout.  He called these people “true angels” and to be clear, that isn’t me.  I haven’t been able to pull off a sweet demeanor.  I’ve been cranky.  I’ve been moody.  I’ve snapped at people…typically friends and family rather than strangers, but they haven’t been immune either. It comes and goes though, and sometimes I find myself feeling very positive.  Feeling relief because honestly, it was an accident waiting to happen based on my mom’s own compromised condition.

With all of this said, I’m working on it.  There have been learning moments.  For one, I am strong (I’ve known this since I was a youth and HAD to be), but permission to be weak from time to time is something I seek.  Everyone needs to know they can fall apart sometimes and it’s going to be ok.  Maybe that permission I seek needs to come from within.  I’m not sure I know the answer to that.  Theoretically I do, but in practice…mmmmm…that’s different. This week has reminded me that life is like a garden.  The things you put time and effort into will flourish, will grow, will blossom and endure.  Those things you neglect for any real amount of time will wither and eventually die.  And sometimes a bunch of deer will just come and eat most of it (shitting next to the tomato plant they just devoured).

Put time into the people and things you love. Life is short… actively choose your priorities and then show up– for the great times, the oopsies & oh-oh’s and the oh shits.

Thanks for listening….

Family 2017Dad and I Pacific City 2013

Golden Years?

It wasn’t that long ago that we viewed a 70-year old as…well…pretty old.  Visions of an elderly person rocking in a chair, sedentary come to mind.  Not sure if it’s the central Oregon “bubble” or perhaps the greater Pacific Northwest or just that lifestyles have changed in general.  But they’ve changed in a BIG way.  Now, I have friends in their 70s surfing overhead waves and jumping out of planes.  A huge leap from the rocking chair!!

I’ve taught water aerobics for decades and with that experience I’ve gained a lot of insight to what can be done to maintain wellness as we age.  It’s given me a different “take” on aging, than I had when I was a teen and young 20-something.  Thank God!!  Now, it seems I’ve gotten an even bigger glimpse into what (hopefully) will be my senior years.  I’ve seen the other side too.  Is it all luck of the draw?  I hope not.

Hosmer lake
Hosmer Lake…a week before Chrissy’s 89th birthday….

This summer I’ve started regularly teaching an intro to whitewater paddleboarding clinic.  In each session I’ve had someone in his/her 60s (or 70s) getting after it.  I’m impressed, as this sport requires strength, flexibility, balance and agility.  It also takes a fair amount of daring, even in the “frisky ripples”.  Let’s face it…it’s still a river with current, rocks and strainers. The people I interact with seem to have great physical health and sharp mental acuity.

During this realization of opportunities as we age, I’m living a parallel experience–one that is a big “F@%$k you” to my theory that if you stay in shape and have the eternal spirit you’ll continue hiking those mountaintops and paddling the class III’s.  I understand many humans go through this, but “my suck” is the reality that is my dad, living with late-stage Alzheimer’s disease.  My father was an adventurer and athlete.  He was an intelligent and funny dude–in fact, typically the life of the party. My sister and I never questioned his future.  We assumed, because of his strength and physical fitness that he’d live a long and wonderful older age.  Especially in contrast to my mom who didn’t exercise, and seemed to always be tired or sick.  So it’s a strange dynamic that my mom has been caring for my dad, in-home with very little help (her choice, not ours) for years now.  Her strength has bubbled through, caring for him even through her own battle with breast cancer, for about a year and a half.

I don’t spend a whole lot of time asking why my dad got sick.  Nor do I wallow in the “if only’s”.  Unfortunately, his situation isn’t all that unique–seemingly healthy people can become ill with any number of horrible diseases.

We all have to figure out our own path.  For me, I live with gratitude for my health and my graced life.  So many people in the world are suffering and I don’t take that for granted.  I try to live a life of moderation.  Get sleep as best possible and avoid toxic things…food/beverages, people, behaviors.  Am I perfect? Far from it.  We can only do our best and hope for the best.  Right?

Every day is a gift.

Thanks for listening…

LD Pic
Perry helping prep for the Lower Deschutes trip….

A Trip on the Lower (lower) Deschutes….

With Sam’s mom turning 73 last weekend, it presented the opportunity to figure out what special thing we could do to celebrate.  This is a woman who jumped out of an airplane when she was 70, back-packed for the first time, in the Jefferson Wilderness for several days (also age 70) and recently got a mountain bike which she rides every day.  Since she (Perry) had never been on a multi-day river trip, we decided paddling the lower Deschutes to the Columbia, was the best choice.  Exciting! This gave me the opportunity to SUP parts of this trip, putting in at Buck Hollow and taking out at Heritage Landing….jumping on the raft for rapids I was uncomfortable with.

Early Thursday morning, I set out with the Subie packed up, to meet Sam and Perry at Buck Hollow where they’d already arrived and were rigging the boat.  Sam’s a rigging master, so it wasn’t long before we were headed downriver–me on a board and Perry in an IK, Sam at the sticks.  One piece of info: turns out that my neck which had been giving me considerable pain for weeks was whiplashed.  I’d been getting treatment for it, and generally improving, but far from healed.  On the other hand, as my PT said “you can be in pain at home or on the river…and I think I know which you’ll choose”.  Of course I chose to go but determined to be cautious about what I’d paddle.

The first day we knocked off about 18 miles and much of it I spent on the raft–no reason to over-do and be in more pain.  Perry, however, absolutely crushed it on the IK, paddling “Wreck Rapids” (and others) with ease. The weather was perfect, the scenery stunning; it was a great day.  The osprey were plentiful, and most we saw had fish in their talons!!  Late afternoon, we easily found a campsite and after dinner enjoyed the quintessential riverside experience, lounging around enjoying the beauty around us.  During the night, crickets and trains made for a somewhat noisy evening, and the full moon was so bright it felt somewhat like a police interrogation, however it’s still great to sleep outside on the river.

In the morning, after a leisurely coffee/breakfast, skinny-dip in the river and loading our gear, we set out for day two.  We seemed to be making really good time, with no specific destination in mind but ended up finding a fabulous campsite next to a surf wave–Jet Pump rapids. Sam surfed, I didn’t.  We both napped for about three hours, next to the river on a soft, sandy beach in the shade.  Heavenly.  This is really the life, and what makes river trips so therapeutic.  Fun paddling and heavy on the R & R.  Dinner number two was lovely and after such a long nap I was able to stay awake long enough to enjoy the stars.

Morning number two. Coffee.  Have I mentioned my passion/addiction to coffee?  It’s enhanced on the river.  There is something truly special about drinking that perfect cup (or 3) with no distraction from devices or the hustle bustle of normal life.  The river, the birds, the fish.  Mmmmmmmm. I digress.  It was our last day and we’d operated under the assumption we had a really short day to paddle.  We took a detour, hiking up to an unmarked location, to see petroglyphs. Pretty awesome!  But turns out, we were farther from the take-out than we thought and had a longer day of paddling than anticipated.  GREAT! None of us really wanted to be done yet.  I was back on the paddleboard and as we got closer to the confluence the wind gusts picked up.  I mean A LOT.  At one point, I was literally blown off my board.  This was entirely unforeseen and I chose to get back on the raft and enjoy the remainder of the trip with Sam rowing.  Eventually Perry also sat in the raft…after paddling almost the entire stretch on her IK…what a champ.  We arrived together, happy and relaxed, to Heritage Landing.

There’s always the unloading, de-rigging, ammo can cleaning…none of which is extraordinarily fun.  However we all pitched in and got it done efficiently.  It was a great trip and if you have the means, paddle this stretch.   For me, the trip was not just a celebration of Perry’s birthday but an effort to create life balance.  It’s not a long drive from Bend (or back).  There are permits and shuttles to work out logistically–and to pay for, but taking a step away from work and our crazy, high-stimulus world is important and crucial for peace of mind. I’m happier for it, for sure!

Thanks for listen’….


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Not So Frisky a Ripple…

After yesterday’s post I had a few people reach out and ask what happened regarding the injuries.  The other guide’s concussion–he had a run-in with his dog and took a blow to the head.  My injuries were separate circumstances…the hip flexor actually due to overstretching in yoga (trying to work out the neck injury). Be careful people!! Don’t push yourself too hard.

The neck injury was water related, and turns out (to my surprise) I have whiplash.  This was NOT my typical frisky ripple class II+/III- kind of situation though.  Here’s the deal: my birthday coincided with the Subaru of Bend Outside Games, a 4-day long schedule of events, town-wide, involving adventure sports competitions.  One of the events is the Meadowcamp Race which takes place on the “town run” (a class IV section of the Deschutes upstream from Bend proper).  Sam was in town and since he would be running Meadowcamp for the race…and because I wanted to do something special for my bday… we ran it in a Dynamic Duo (a tandem whitewater kayak).  I’ve duoed with him many times before but not this stretch.  Long story short, on the last rapid the power of the water hitting me, sitting up front, pulled my helmet back hard…my head/neck along with it.  I didn’t think anything of it at the time except for “holy shit that water is powerful!” and “damn, my neck is sore”.

For the record, the run was fun and beautiful, and Sam hit all the lines right.   The rest of the weekend was awesome and my birthday lovely.

So that’s the scoop.  I’m getting treatment in the form of PT with the best dude around (same guy who helped me through my MCL tear).  Aside from laying off my bike and taking it easier than normal, I’m still going on the lower Deschutes this Thursday-Saturday and Grants Pass next week…to paddle, recreate and adventure.  I’m grateful for everyone who has helped me, and put up with my cranky pants. It’s been almost two weeks of sleeplessness and discomfort making me less than “sunny” in my disposition.  But things are on the mend now!  Thanks for caring….

A Thought…

This blog has always been themed around water but truly a montage of my random thoughts, beliefs and experiences.  Wanting to start it for a long time, I finally wrote my first post as a way to channel my energy and spend my time after tearing my MCL. Today, as I sit here with my neck “out” and a slightly torn hip-flexor.  However,  I’m grateful in the knowledge that I’m still able to do most of what I want/need to do, and I have the resources to improve my situation plus the support of friends, co-workers and even strangers.  From prior injuries, I might have even gained some “wisdom” and patience to “slow my roll”.  Give myself space and time to heal.

Recently, a fellow guide experienced a blow to his head which turned out to be a concussion.  How that developed isn’t important, but it brings to mind the need to take care of one another.  In a time when we get very busy with our own lives, it’s important to take a moment to help each other out.  Sometimes we don’t know the person next to us is suffering…physically, emotionally, mentally….or maybe all of the above?  Let’s help one another out, yes?  Team work makes the dream work.

That’s all.  Just a thought.  Have a great day, and until I have more than 5 minutes, I’ll see ya out there on the water (or trail)….